


True Love's Kiss

by CHILLAY_EWEW



Category: Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming of Age, Confessions, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Harley Quinn The Animated Series, M/M, Marriage, comig out, for chillayuwu, lgbtqa+
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24808630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHILLAY_EWEW/pseuds/CHILLAY_EWEW
Summary: After episode 12 Harley and Ivy must face the consequences when what happened in Themyscira gets leaked, while Kiteman tries to figure out what to do with the new information he's received.Harley and Ivy come to terms with their feelings for one another after an eventful wedding ceremony.
Relationships: Batman/Joker, Kite Man/Condiment King, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Riddler/Dr.Psycho, Zatanna/Batgirl
Comments: 23
Kudos: 10





	1. ChAPTER 1

How does our story start? We aren’t sure. As Gotham fell into chaos the people of Gotham dove into insanity with it.

“I’M GAY 🏳️🌈!” screams Psycho.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Riddler yells back and begins strangling Psycho with his smexy calves, “THIS IS FOR LYING YOU BITCH!”

Suddenly, a boom echoes through the wedding chapel as Wonder Woman crashes in through the ceiling and pulls her sword. "I, Princess Diana of Themyscira, object to this wedding!”

“FUCK DIANA <3 ” Apel, a normal civilian shouts from the crowd.

I mean, who wouldn’t fuck her?

“oH SHUDDUP SUMMA INNIT LUV XOXO” PoisonIvy123 says. “>:((((“ 

Summer, also another random fuckin person, queefs in response. “I LOVE YOU POISONIVY123!”

“I thought you loved me sommar ray sad face.” Apel says, while Charli DAMDAMADMDA is recording renegade tik toks in the back of the wedding room.”

“I DON’T LUV ANYONE, LUV. I'M A SOCIOPATHIC NARCISSIST INNIT PENG TING LUV xx.”

“wONDER wOMAN?? THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!” Psycho screams even though he still can’t breathe (darn you riddler legs 🦵🦵🦵🦵).

"Get out of here, Diana!" Poison Ivy yelled, "THIS IS MY wEdDiNg!" 

Meanwhile, Ivy and Harley are fucking (yes, they are still at the wedding in front of everybody). 

Insert smexy times. (bADADAD - summa, that's the sound effect)

While Kiteman watches and cries, “My fiancée is fucking a clown :(((“ 

(SHE WAS ALREADY FUCKING A CLOWN BUT YA DIDNT HEAR IT FROM ME) -SoapBoxDerby 

“My fiancée is gay af. Gay for a clown…” Kiteman sighs as he throws himself off building without a kite. -insert jocelyn flores by xxxtentacion-

Condiment King awaited Kite Man at the bottom of his fall, softening his landing by squeezing tartar sauce all over the ground.

Kiteman: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! My nemesis saved me. Why?! *grabs Condiment King and smacks him on the floor, pinning Condiment King’s arms above his head and leaning in* I HATE YOU, YOU SAUCEFUCKING JERK! 

Kiteman hits him with his lips and goes back upstairs.  
“LET ME JUMP AND DIE!”

Ivy: Need a hand? *pushes him off with plants while kissing Harley*

Harley: That's hot. *throws bat at the wind and pulls Ivy back into a passionate kiss*

Ivy: We need to get married. 

Harley: Right now?

“Piss cakes of a dick,” Ivy starts pinching her nose bridge in frustration. “YES RIGHT NOW!”

Kiteman: *keeps falling and lands on his legs, breaking them but staying alive* MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!! HELL NAH11!!!!!!!!!!1

Clayface: Helloooooo! *grabs Kiteman and throws him across the street* Leave Harley and Ivy alone in bed, you kitefucking jerk!

Condiment King squirts mustard and ketchup onto Kite Man, which prevents from committing suicide once again, “Babe,,, will you,,, listen to Tay Tay Swift with me before you die?”

“HUZZAH” Clayface smiles, “SO ROMANTIC”

Harley: Not right now. *rips bed open* Later. It's time, innit?

Ivy: Yes, it is. Get your dress on. The one you've had for years because you're so gay for me.

Harley: How's you…

Ivy: I've been looking at it for years dreaming about our wedding because clowns are amazing.

“GUYS SHUT UP RIDDLER WANTS TO DO THE RENEGADE WITH CHARLI DAMIMIDAIADM!! 🐱” Summa yells as she begins to TikTok.

LovelyPeachesMusic100 starts to seduce Louanne who is cosplaying Harley Quinn with her epic dance moves, running her hands along her hips in a very alluring manner. “You so bad, and baby I want you so bad yeah, you so bad, and baby I want you so bad.”

Louanne hops into Peaches' loving embrace and starts making out with her.

Riddler: *starts doing the renegade with his legs* Watch ME!!!! FORGET THE WEDDING!!! SUCK IT, CHARLI DAMMAMAMAM! Or maybe don't because I'm gay as FUCK 🏳🌈

Harley: SHUT THE FUCK UP, RIDDLER! I NEED TO MARRY IVY!!!!!

Charli Damamdamdamdma: HOLY SHIT 

“🦵🦵🦵🦵🦵🦵🦵🦵” Riddler queefs, announcing that he is gay (that’s the translation).


	2. chaapter 2

Harley and Ivy are now happily married, and with Kiteman gone (now in a gay ass couple with the sauce bitch ass) Ivy starts to eat Harley’s ass like condiment king eats mayo.  
Harley moans passionately.

“OMG IM GONNA QUEEEEffffffff.. EFFFFF!” Harley QUEEFS in Ivy’s mouth, and she passes out whilst shitting on her. Yum. She licks the poop seductively off of her fingertips. :p

Ivy places a Santa Claus hat on top of Harley’s head after the two’s intense queefing session. Meghan bursts into the room, and quickly snatches it off of the top of her head.  
“YOU CAN’T WEAR A SANTA HAT IF YOU’RE A JEW. THAT’S RACIST.”

Meghan contacts Chillay Ewwu and the dumb poo poo head that she is, she instantly bans Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy from the discord servers.

“Shit nuts with a can. who is going to write crack fanfiction now?” Ivy bitterly yells.

: ) <3 eat dick : D - message from our sponsors.

Meekan dies. Kiteman MOANS MOANS MOANS MOANS MOANS MOANS MOANS MOANS MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOans

Psycho: *gets stabbed by Joker and dies in Riddler's gay arms*

Riddler: Noooooooo! My one true, gay love!

Condiment King: My love is dead too. Let's just do it. *slaps Riddler on his THICC ass*

Riddler: Yeah, sure. *forgets Psycho ever existed with Zatanna’s magic*

Condiment King and Riddler fuck whilst their dead ex-lovers lay besides them.

Zatanna: I'm the gayfairy. Everybody gets to be gay af. *jumps around town spraying gay fairydust on everyone and goes to Batgirl and kisses her* I'm gay as fuck! 

Batgirl: *takes off mask to kiss Zatanna, revealing her true identity* I don't care. Kiss me, Zatanna. I'm gay for you. And Carole too. But she’s dead to me.

Batman: *walks to Diana* I'm not gay.

Diana: I am. And I want to date Ivy but I can't so I'll kill myself

Batman: Ok. Have fun.

Diana: *takes sword and stabs Batman*

Batman: I was kidding. I'm fucking Joker. *dies*

Joker: Noooooooo! My gay af husband!

Batgirl: I love you, Zatanna.

Zatanna: Wtf?! Too early, bitch. *kills Batgirl*

Batgirl: Fuck you.

Zatanna: Yeah, sure. *heals her and takes her to room* Now die. *slits throat*

“That’s hot.” Summer comments.

Ivy: *walks to Summer and kills her by strangling*

Summer: *struggling to breath* Hot. *dies and gets revived by Pineapple with a true love kiss*  
“IM STRAIGHT.” APEL SCREECHES, GURGLING WATER SIMULTANEOUSLY. 

Summer: Nooooooo, you aren't! *kisses Pineapple back and marries her*

Commissioner Gordon takes note of the situation at hand. “Oh my sweet baby Jesus. I’ve been sleeping with my daughter this entire time, even without the mask >:0!”

He took one last look at the child that he and his daughter conceived, and threw them away. YEET. “I LIKE ASS” the child screams before breaking her neck on a bird flying past.  
NOM NOMN NOMNONOMNO MOTHERVUCKERS <3

Bane yelling from his hole: WOW. I LOVE THE GAYS :D This. 

Lake Bell’s jiggly feet clap. Sadly she has berest caner so she can’t move them like she used too. She also only has 1 more year left to live.

Kaley Cuoco strips herself of her clothes and puts on the original Harley Quinn suit which hasn’t been washed ever since Margot Robbie wore it in Suicide Squad. She took a whiff of Rabbi’s scent and turned to Lake Bell, swaying her hips seductively as she walked. 8-D

“I’ve always wanted to fuck a fat, ugly, bitch-

“YOU CAN’T SAY THAT. BAN.” Chillay uwu queefs on Kaley Cuoco, killing her instantly. However Lake Bell kisses the blonde, bringing her back to life due to the power of true love.

Kaley Cuoco starts running her fingers through Lake Bell’s 300 jelly stomach rolls. Mmmmmmmmm yummy

Chameleon - Apel

U ever. Think about cocc.ccccc ke ke kekekek ekekkek e kek ek This is a truly magical egg. Thick

Catwoman: I want Harley... *kills herself because she's depressed because she's single*

Summer and Apolonia make out for 92847372 hours because Apolonia is gay. Happy. NOT HOMOSEXUAL.


End file.
